I am an Anachist! – Episode 2

February 18th, 2008

OK. We are under starter’s orders. And we are off! A quick trip to BlueSquare.com and the account is opened in minutes. No trekking up to the High Street to spend time in smoke filled rooms with sad, beer-stained losers for this gambler (besides, someone might see me). I am taking the high-tech route to riches by using the Internet. I chose “Hereward” as my Blue Square account username because he was a Fenland hero who resisted the Norman invasion in 1066 and had great success against the odds for around 2 years. And then he lost.

I have deposited my ÂŁ10 betting fund and am ready to rumble, so let’s find our first sure-fire winner. Hmmm horse racing – not a great idea methinks. I know absolutely nothing about The Sport Of Kings (apart from the fact that is called “The Sport Of Kings”) so I will be avoiding horse racing. You need to study the form and stuff and I don’t have the time for that. Plus horses get doped and jockeys “pull” their mounts on occasion to ensure a better payday in the future. I can’t be bothered with all that malarkey – I will leave the Sport of Kings to King William (see how I am “future-proofing this book!). No, I am going to stick to subjects I know about like football, pop music, TV and politics. What about the most popular card game, poker? Hmmmm, maybe some other time.

With that in mind I have decided on my first modest wager. I am going to stick ÂŁ2 on John Lydon to win the “I`m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here” reality TV Show. I like to think I have insider knowledge of sorts here. I was into punk music in the late 70’s and therefore know that John Lydon (formerly Johnny Rotten in the Sex Pistols) is far from the spitting, snarling moron most people probably regard him as. He is actually a very intelligent and shrewd cookie who has supposedly made millions on property development since his days as the saviour of modern music. Yeah Johnny is my man. However, at odds of 6/4 looks like there are some others who favour him as well. Still, it fits in with my stated game plan of only betting on “near certainties”, and if I am right I will make ÂŁ3 and get my ÂŁ2 stake back.

OK so that’s the first bet placed. Let’s have a look for another. Hmm the Brits – the annual award ceremony to honour our latest pop greats. I am drawn to the “Best British Group” Category because to me there seems to be only one winner. The contenders are The Darkness, Busted, Sugarbabes, Radiohead and The Coral. It’s gotta be The Darkness hasn’t it? The Sugarbabes aren’t really a group – mere eye candy for the masses. Radiohead haven’t done much this year have they? Besides they are a bit geeky for most. The Coral simply are not popular enough. The only possible spanner in the works is Busted. My kids like Busted and the band have been very high profile this year. Plus the kids out there will prefer them to The Darkness, probably. Nah – gotta be The Darkness. Bang – ÂŁ5 on The Darkness to win the category. So at odds of 4/7 I stand to make ÂŁ2.86 profit. My only slight worry is that I am not sure who votes for Brits winners. Is it the public or the music industry? If it’s the public I could be in trouble. While we are discussing musical stuff I hope you don’t mind if I advise all your drummers out there of a very good website which reviews drums and percussion equipment? Thanks.

We are on our way.